While in conversation with my family yesterday, the subject of needing time alone to refuel came up. We’re currently a ‘full-house’, which gives very little space for aloneness.
Over the past 24 hours, I’ve been reflecting about how this affects me. I’ve discovered a few things about myself – some good, some bad, but also a mix of the two. One of my responses to a lack of aloneness over the years has been to cultivate the ability to ‘zone-out’. This has been very useful, especially when I’ve been doing something mundane, walking, cycling or on public transport. However, it’s sometimes gotten me into trouble.
The most recent occassion was when I’d zoned out in a boreing staff briefing at work. At the end of the briefing I was asked to conclude with prayer. It was quite embarrassing to suddenly become aware of fifteen people looking in my direction in what must have been an uncomfortably long pause.
While ‘zoneing-out’ is a useful tool when used appropriately and during short periods of excessive busyness, it’s not a great long term strategy. I know I need to get back to a regular habit of drawing aside to replenish myself and my relationship with God. Experience teaches me that I have to take command of my life to make it happen. For me it means that I’ll have to break my dependancy on hustle and bustle, technology and entertainment. Again, experience tells me it’s worth it.